Lazy Saturday afternoon, I go visit my puppies. They are getting big now, love to chew everything, including human noses, or the splint Puppy Girl had for a while since she broke her leg running around. Yes, we took her to the vet, again, she got X-rays done and wore a cone of shame for a very short while. She hated it. She still has a slight limp but she’ll be ok.

The two ladies who took care of the grounds of the clubhouse are now down to one. We heard on May 7^th that they hadn’t yet received their salary for April. Jyothi quit. Radha is still there. She calls Sathya when there is a puppy emergency. She cares for the fur balls quite a bit.

I went there alone earlier. Radha was sitting on the floor petting Jadoo while Puppy Girl was chewing on a bamboo chair and some kids were playing in the pool. I sat down next to her, slowly since I threw my back out this morning trying to get the dumbbells out of the way. She knows I don’t speak a word of Kannada, nor Hindi, but she chats away nonetheless. Gesturing helps. We laughed at the puppies who were assaulting me to get the non-veg treats I brought. She had a question for me and was quite animated. Something about her sister, medical something and chest pains. After a couple of minutes, I thought it was time to call Sathya to the rescue. Until I realized the story is about breasts. Breast size. How can her sister who is flat chested increase her breast size to be like mine?

Trust me, I am not the biggest around here! There are some aunties who have a bra size ten times bigger than me, and smush their breasts into blouses ten times too small. Women like their clothes on the tight side.  But E. reminded me that those aunties have a waist girth commensurate to their bra size. I don’t, especially since I have lost 10 pounds in the last month (thanks to depression, so I don’t recommend it to anyone).

What am I supposed to tell her? It’s clear she’s looking for the name of the medicine I take, or the cream I use, or whatever magical thing I may have discovered. I was trying to explain that it’s natural and not enhanced in any way. So, out of answers, I did the Namaste gesture and told her to pray. Hypocrite that I am.

Now, which one is the breast goddess?